Swingers in the lifestyle engage in lots of different sexual
activities with others for a variety of reasons. For many, an advantage
is the increased quality, quantity and frequency of sex. Some people
engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex
lives or for curiosity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet
and means to strengthen their relationship. Others regard such
activities as merely social and recreational interaction with others.
[2]
History
It may not be possible to trace a precise history of swinging since
the modern concept is so closely related to basic human sexuality and
relationships, and they vary significantly across time and cultures. The
term "swinging" would have no counterpart or meaning in many cultures
and civilizations in history who did not value non-monogamous
relationships or have religious or social prohibitions against such
sexual practices. It is a historical term that is best understood as
fairly modern and Western in its expression.
16th century
A formal arrangement was signed by
John Dee, his wife Jane, his
scryer,
Edward Kelley
and Kelley's wife Joanna on 22 April 1587, whereby conjugal relations
would be shared between the men and their spouses. This arrangement
arose following
seances which apparently resulted in spirits guiding Dee and Kelley towards this course of action.
[3]
18th century
The only group that was known to openly practice wife-swapping were
European intellectuals. Even to this day, Europeans and American
intellectuals try to find instances of open extra-marital sex of
religious groups of the Abrahamic faiths.
[clarification needed]
According to certain of these intellectuals, two related messianic
Jewish sects of the eighteenth century, the Frankists, followers of
Jacob Frank, and the
Dönmeh, followers of
Shabbetai Zvi,
were alleged to hold an annual springtime 'Lamb Festival,' which
consisted of a celebratory dinner that included a ritualized exchange of
spouses.
[4][5]
These reports should be considered very cautiously, as they may simply
be defamatory propaganda of the time against heretical groups,
particularly since the groups involved were secretive and even deceptive
about their beliefs, aims, and practices.
19th century
One of the criticisms of
communism was the allegation that communists practice and propagandize the "community of women". In
The Communist Manifesto (1848),
Karl Marx and
Friedrich Engels suggest that this allegation is an example of hypocrisy and
psychological projection by "
bourgeois" critics of communism, who "not content with having wives and daughters of their
proletarians at their disposal, not to speak of common prostitutes, take the greatest pleasure in seducing each other's wives."
[6]
20th century
Online swinging took off in the late 1990s due to the rise of the
Internet and became more prevalent towards the latter half of the decade. According to
Swinger Social Network[7] swingers account for 2-4% of married couples estimating numbers in excess of 2 million people in North America.
Modern swinging
According to
Terry Gould's
The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers,
[8] swinging began among American
Air Force
pilots and their wives during World War II. The mortality rate of
pilots was high, so, as Gould reports, a close bond arose between pilots
that implied that pilot husbands would care for all the wives as their
own—emotionally and sexually—if the husbands were away or lost.
[9] This is debatable, however, since it would have been unusual for wives to accompany their husbands on foreign tours.
[10]
Though the origins of swinging are contested, it is assumed American
swinging was practiced in some American military communities in the
1950s. By the time the
Korean War ended, swinging had spread from the military to the
suburbs. The media dubbed the phenomenon
wife-swapping.
[citation needed]
Some swinging sexual activity can take place in a
sex club. To some extent, in the United States, these clubs are associated in the North American Swing Club Association
NASCA[11]
as an umbrella organization for swinging clubs to disseminate
information about swinging across North America. Many Internet websites
that cater for swinging couples now exist, some boasting hundreds of
thousands of members.
[12]
In the UK, swinging became popular to some extent in the mid-1970s.
[13]
In February 2010,
Christoph Büchel and the
Secession contemporary art museum in
Vienna, Austria invited a local swingеrs' club to hold orgies and display related paraphernalia in the building where
Gustav Klimt's famous
Beethoven Frieze had prompted substantial outrage and media attention in 1902.
[14][15][16]
Research
Research has been conducted in the United States since the late
1960s. One study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to
visitors of swinger-related sites, found swingers are happier in their
relationships than the norm,.
[1]
60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said
swinging made their relationship less happy. Approximately 50% of those
who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers
maintained their relationship had become happier. 90% of those with less
happy relationships said swinging improved them.
Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy;
approximately 25% admitted "I have difficulty controlling jealousy when
swinging" as "somewhat true", while 6% said this was "yes, very much"
true. Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers
compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of
swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by
significantly large margins. There was no significant difference between
responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females
completed the survey.
This study is of limited use due to
self-selected sampling. Self sampling procedures create a potential for
bias.
For instance, swinging couples who had stronger relationships may have
been more motivated to complete the questionnaire. Alternatively,
because swinging may cause stress on a marriage, perhaps only those with
higher than average commitment are able to remain married. Couples who
have
jealousy
or strife issues caused by swinging might not persist in the activity
and could therefore be less likely respondents. Additionally, couples
that would be negatively affected by swinging may be less likely to try
swinging in the first place.
ABC News reporter John Stossel produced an investigative report into
the swinging lifestyle. Stossel reported that at that time, more than
four million people were swingers, according to estimates by the
Kinsey Institute and other researchers. He also cited
Terry Gould's
research, which concluded that "couples swing in order to not cheat on
their partners." When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry
their spouse will "find they like someone else better", one male
replied, "People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They
don't swing to go out and find a new wife;" a woman asserted, "It makes
women more confident - that they are the ones in charge." Stossel
interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, "not one of
them said don't do it", though some said "getting sexual thrills outside
of marriage can threaten a marriage". Nevertheless, swingers whom
Stossel interviewed claimed "their marriages are stronger because they
don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other."
According to economic studies on swinging,
[17]
the ICT revolution, together with improvements in medicine, has been
effective in reducing some of the costs of swinging and hence in
increasing the number of swingers. And the economic approaches which
seem best suited to capture the empirical data are those based on the
concept of
hedonic adaptation.
These approaches suggest that it is consistent with maximizing
swingers’ strategy to begin from "soft" swinging and only later engage
in "harder" swinging, and that also the search for ever new sexual
experiences delays long-period hedonic adaptation and hence increases
swingers’ long-period wellbeing. Both these theoretical predictions seem
to find confirmation in the empirical data on swinger behaviour.
Controversy and debate
Health risks
Like anyone else, there are some swingers who engage in unprotected sex, a practice known as
barebacking. Some couples can reduce the risk of contracting a
sexually transmitted infection (STI) by exchanging STI test results and
serosorting. Some swingers engage in
safe sex
practices and will not engage with others who do not also practice safe
sex. Proponents for swinging point to the fact that safe sex is
accepted within the community and the risk of sexual disease is the same
for them as for the general population—and that some populations of
sexually non-monogamous people have clearly lower rates of STIs than the
general population.
[18] Opponents are concerned about the risk of pregnancy and STIs such as
HIV, arguing that even protected sex is risky given that some STIs may be spread regardless of the use of condoms, such as
Herpes and
HPV.
A study done in the Netherlands that compared the medical records of
self reported swingers to that of the general population found that STI
prevalence was highest in young people, homosexual men, and swingers.
[19]
However, this study has been criticized as not being representative of
swinger populations as a whole: its data was formulated solely on
patients receiving treatment at an STI clinic. In addition, according to
the conclusions of the report the STI rates of swingers were in fact
nearly identical to those of non-swinging straight couples, and
concluded that the safest demographic for STI infection were female
prostitutes. According to the Dutch study, "the combined rates of
chlamydia and gonorrhea were just over 10 percent among straight people,
14 percent among gay men, just under 5 percent in female prostitutes,
and 10.4 percent among swingers, they found."
[20]
Religious and moral objections
Those who object on moral or philosophical grounds to the basic
principles of swinging may believe that sexual relations should only
occur within a committed relationship.
[citation needed]
Some argue that if sex becomes the main reason for swinging, then the
act of sex may become mechanistic and less satisfying than the intimacy
experienced by monogamous couples.
[citation needed]
Western societal norms for many people argue that any sex is wrong
outside of marriage, even if the spouse is accepting and gives
permission. Those who object on moral or philosophical grounds to the
basic principles of swinging often define sexual relations as singularly
within the purview of a marriage, or, at least a committed long-term
monogamous relationship.
Common responses to objections
Many couples enter swinging while in secure relationships, providing
added motivation to avoid excessive health risks. Some sexual affairs
outside relationships may be in the heat of the moment without regard to
consequences, swingers maintain that sex among swingers is often more
frank and deliberative and therefore more honest than infidelity.
[citation needed]
Many swinging clubs in the US and UK do not have alcohol licenses and
have a "bring your own beverage" (BYOB) policy. Also, it is not
uncommon for experienced swingers to remain sober to preclude any sexual
performance problems. This counter-argument suggests that such swingers
take a safer approach to sexual health than comparable non-monogamous
singles (who ostensibly have impaired judgment from becoming
inebriated).
Condoms are often highly encouraged and readily available at many
swinging clubs and parties. In addition, many swingers rely on frequent
STI testing to ensure their safety.
[citation needed] A small portion focus on massage and other activities unlikely to transmit STIs;
[citation needed]
however, most participants acknowledge they are accepting the same
risks that any person does who is sexually active outside of a strictly
monogamous relationship.
Although there is a risk of pregnancy, they are the same as
monogamous sex and can be minimized. Solutions include a tubal ligation
(female sterilization), vasectomy (male sterilization), or having a
group entirely made of menopausal women. Other solutions include using
condoms or the pill. Proper use of a condom with an effective birth
control method will minimize the risk of pregnancy and transmission of
sexually transmitted infections.
[citation needed]
Some believe sexual attraction is part of human nature and should be
openly enjoyed by a committed or married couple. Some swingers cite
divorce data in the US, claiming the lack of quality of sex and spousal
infidelity are significant factors in divorce. One study showed 37% of
husbands and 29% of wives admit at least one extramarital affair
(Reinisch, 1990), and divorce rates for first marriages approached 60%.
As one study asserted:
According to King (1996) sexual habituation leads to changes in
interaction with partners. At three to seven years into a marriage, it
takes increased stimulation to produce the sexual excitation previously
obtained by a glance or simple touch. A couple receptive to new and
different sexual experiences will begin to explore different avenues of
shared sexual fulfillment to continue to grow together. At this
stressful point infidelity increases and the divorce rate peaks. Couples
who find a way to reconnect physically and emotionally are more likely
to make it through this period. Swinging may be one solution – it
provides sexual variety, adventure, and the opportunity to live out
fantasies as a couple without secrecy and deceit. Many swingers report
that their relationships are strengthened through swinging, and say
their sex lives are more intimate and satisfying. Jealousy can occur,
but proponents of swinging assert that jealousy is mainly couples whose
relationships were already unstable. The effect on unstable
relationships has yet to be determined.
Partner swapping in tribal societies
Africa
Temporary spouse-trading is practiced as an element of ritual initiation into the Lemba secret society in the
French Congo through "wife exchange"
[21] : "you shall lay with the priestess-wife of your Lemba Father, and he shall lay with your wife too."
[22][23]
New Guinea
Among the
Orya of northern
Irian Jaya,
the agama toŋkat (Indonesian for 'walking-stick') cult "encouraged men
to trade wives, i.e., to have sexual relations with each other's wives.
This trading of sexual favours ... was only between pairs of families,
... adherents are now very secretive concerning cult activities and
teachings."
[24] In this 'walking-stick' cult "the walking stick ...
dute is the term men use to refer to the husband of the woman who becomes his sexual partner."
[25] Furthermore, "There have been other similar movements ... near Jayapura. These are popularly called Towel Religion (
agama handuk) and The Simpson Religion (
agama simpson)."
[26]
Among the Mimika of southern Irian Jaya, temporary spouse-trading is
said to have been originated by a woman who had returned from the world
of the dead: "The wife says to her husband, '... tonight I will sleep in
the house of the headman ..., and ... his wife, will sleep in your
house. Because I have been dead ..., tonight I am going to do for the
first time what people have been looking forward to (for so long). I am
going to institute the papisj, wife exchange.'"
[27]
Inuit and Aleut
"Inuit wife trading has often been reported and commented on ..."
[28]
Temporary "wife-lending ... was apparently more common among the
Aleuts than Eskimos". Several motivations for temporary spouse-trading
are practiced among the Inuit:
[29]
- at the instigation of an aŋekok (shaman), as a magical rite to achieve better weather for hunting-expeditions;
- as a regular feature of the annual "Bladder Festival";
- for a man visiting without being accompanied his wife, under the
promise that he will in the future make his own wife sexually available
to his host whenever the host will himself come visiting his erstwhile
guest.
Among the
Inuit,
a very specialized and socially-circumscribed form of wife-sharing was
practiced. When hunters were away, they would often stumble into the
tribal lands of other tribes, and be subject to death for the offense.
But, when they could show a "relationship" by virtue of a man, father or
grandfather who had sex with their wife, mother or other female
relatives, the wandering hunter was then regarded as family. The Inuit
had specific terminology and language describing the complex
relationships that emerged from this practice of wife sharing. A man
called another man "aipak" if the man had sex with his wife. Aipak
means, "other me." So, in their conception, this other man sleeping with
one's wife was just "another me."
[30]
South American Indians
Among the
Araweté (
Asurini) in the state of
Pará, Brazil, "spouse-swapping" is practiced.
[31]
Among the Bari tribe of Venezuela, when a woman becomes pregnant, the
women often take other male lovers. These additional lovers then take
on the role of secondary or tertiary fathers to the child. If the
primary father should die, the other men then have a social obligation
to support these children. Research has shown that children with such
"extra" fathers have improved life outcomes, in this economically and
resource-poor area of the jungle.
[30]
In popular culture
- Film
- The Blood Oranges
(1997), two western couples, one with children, come together in the
fictional Mediterranean village of Ilyria. The film was adapted from the
1970 novel by John Hawkes.
- Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
(1969) is an American comedy classic that captures the sexual
revolution of the late 1960s in the United States. It was nominated for
four Academy Awards; Best Actor in a Supporting Role, Best Actress in a Supporting Role, Best Cinematography, and Best Original Screenplay.
- Brüno involves the protagonist being involved in a swingers' meeting.
- Eating Raoul (1982) is a comic send-up of swinging stereotypes.
- The Fourth Protocol
(1987) shows a brief clip of four American women and an American airman
naked in a room. The swinger overtones were very implicit.
- The Ice Storm
(1997) by director Ang Lee features a cheating husband, played by Kevin
Kline, and his long suffering wife, played by Joan Allen, who attend a
"key party" during a nasty ice storm.
- The Rapture (1992). Mimi Rogers's character Sharon pursues an active swinging lifestyle with her 'partner', played by Rustam Branaman.
- The Sex Monster (1999) is a comedy about a couple who begin a ménage à trois with another woman.
- Swingers
(2002) is a Dutch film that tells the story of a thirty-something
couple and their first experiments with the swinging lifestyle.
- Mixed Doubles (2006) is an Indian film that follows the general plot of a middle-class Bombay husband persuading his wife to swing.
- Swinging with the Finkels (2010) features Mandy Moore and Martin
Freeman as a suburban married couple looking to improve their sex lives
through swinging.
- Swingstock has been featured on HBO's Real Sex and Playboy Channel Sexcetera.
- Zebra Lounge (2001) talks about swinging and its effects on the lives of a married couple with kids who seek some sexual adventures.
- Literature
- Television
- In a 1972 episode of All in the Family, Edith
befriends a couple whose names she finds in a "friendship" magazine and
invites them over for coffee, not realizing that they are swingers
expecting to swap spouses with her and Archie for the night.
- A 2010 episode (118) of the series Criminal Minds featured an episode with a serial killer who met his victims in swing clubs and acted out because his wife got pregnant.
- In an episode of American crime drama CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, "Swap Meet", a woman is found dead in the fountain of a gated community after visiting a neighborhood swingers party.
- In The Hard Times of RJ Berger, RJ's parents are apparently swingers.
- InJourneyman, the eighth episode "Winterland" shows Dan Vasser traveling back to 1973 along with Livia and finding themselves in a swinging party.
- The short-lived 2003 series Keen Eddie
featured a character Monty Pippin who, along with a female friend,
pretended to be married in order to gain access to a swingers' club for
recreational sex.
- An episode of the BBC television programme Life on Mars featured the main characters infiltrating a swingers' club.
- In an episode of his Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends series, the BBC2 interviewer and documentary maker Louis Theroux investigated an American Swingers group.
- In an episode on the first season of the Fox series The OC, Sandy and Kirsten Cohen are tricked into attending a swingers' party on New Year's Eve.
- In the second series of Sugar Rush (TV series) Stella and Nathan both experiment in the swinger lifestyle, ending in a visit to a club in Brighton.
- 2008 CBS series Swingtown is a period piece which deals with social and sexual changes of the 1970s, including swinging.
- In the Fox sitcom That '70s Show, the episode "The Good Son" featured Red and Kitty inadvertently attending a swingers' party.
- Touch And Go, a 1998 BBC Two drama, focused on a young couple, played by Martin Clunes and Zara Turner visiting a swinging club in order to reinvigorate their marriage.
- A 2000 episode of the series Yes, Dear ("The Good Couple") featured two of the main characters, Greg and Kim, inadvertently becoming social with a swinging couple.
- A 2008 episode of the series Close to Home
(Episode 4 of season 1) features main prosecutor Annabeth Chase
handling a case related to the swinging lifestyle craved by the
murderer's husband.
- A 2011 episode of the series Law and Order: SVU features characters Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson going undercover at a swinging club.
- A 2011 episode of the se